A pitch-perfect response to the new Mormon ad campaign.
Hat-tip to Main Street Plaza for the video.
“My name is Robert, and I’m an ex-Mormon.”
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Tag Archives: autobiographical
Stop sign ahead
Andrew (of Irresistible Disgrace) has written a great series entitled “Excuses for not blogging.” It got me thinking about my involvement at this blog…
I fear my foray into the ex-Mormon/atheist blogosphere may be coming to a close shortly. Absent a second wind, I just don’t have the stamina to continue past the summer. Preparing posts and participating in their discussions is really time-consuming, and that time will be harder to come by as I start work and develop hobbies like guitar.
On a more personal note, my blogging has been a detriment to several friendships. Some theist friends think I’m too strident, and some atheist friends think I’m too accommodating. I’ve tried to strike the appropriate balance while still being authentic to myself. That balancing act has just proved to be too difficult a chore for me.
I have also been asked why I still write for the blog now that I’ve graduated from USU. The question occurs to me often. Well, the primary reason is that I don’t want to see this blog and this community die. Once other contributors become more active, I’ll gradually withdraw. But if others don’t become more active (and relatively soon), I’ll probably withdraw anyway. This is a USU student blog, and current students (aka not me) should be writing for it.
This is not a goodbye; you haven’t gotten rid of me quite yet ha ha. I just wanted to give everyone a heads-up. I plan on blogging here for at least the next month or two, and on a regular basis. So I hope you will continue to visit.
If you want to dissuade me from leaving (I’m still amenable to suggestion) or if you want write for this blog, please comment to that effect. Thanks.
My second coming out
(I realize that this is not a personal blog, but I hope you’ll humor this brief autobiographical detour).
It’s 5:00 AM, and I cannot fall asleep. Not when my mind is so awake.
I’m arrested by thoughts about my sexual orientation. If you’re a friend or frequent reader, you probably know that I’m bisexual. That fact isn’t usually at the fore of my consciousness. But lately, several experiences have made me more aware of my sexuality and my relationship to the LGBT community.
The first experience was watching 8: The Mormon Proposition. I saw it in theaters a couple of weeks ago, and again last night with my family (they enjoyed it, by the way). The second experience was a friend of mine recently coming out on Facebook. And the third experience was listening to this emotional podcast/interview where Nate Koch shares his struggles as a gay Mormon at BYU and in the mission field.
A very Mormon me
As you know (or probably could have guessed), I am an ex-Mormon. I was born into the LDS Church and, during my middle school and high school years, was intensely religious—a “bonafide paragon of piety.” That’s hard even for me to believe at times.
Since graduating from USU, I have been in an existential funk of sorts. With no job or school, I have had a lot of time to think about my past. Going through some old junk (emails, letters, journals, etc.), I was reminded of just how devout a Mormon I was. So for our collective amusement, I thought I’d share what I re-discovered.
One of the first things that I found in a small box buried away in my closet was an envelope entitled “Open when ALONE.” In it was Elder Mark E. Peterson infamous “Steps in Overcoming Masturbation” article. I was planning to give this talk to a friend as a Christmas present (WTF?!), but apparently never did, seeing as that I still possess the envelope. Here are a few of the “guidelines to self-control” that Elder Peterson recommended (several of which I followed):
*If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness.
*When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes—just long enough to bathe and dry and dress.
*In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken.
Share Your Secular Story Contest
What: The blog NonProphet Status is “seeking previously unpublished personal stories written from a secular (Secular Humanist, Atheist, Agnostic, et al.) perspective. Stories should be true (based on real, lived experience), 800 words or less in length, creative, and affirmative of a secular identity without being rooted in an anti-religious narrative. Submissions can be a reflection on a single incident or tell a longer narrative.”
There will be three categories for submission—Youth, Interfaith, and Moral Imagination. And each category will have its own winner and two runners-up.
Prizes include books like Acts of Faith, Good Without God, and a chance to have your story published in the Washington Post!
Introduce yourself
At a blog like this, it’s easy to be pigeonholed into labels—usually “atheist” or “theist.” I am assuredly an atheist, but that’s not all I am. You and I should take this post as an opportunity to introduce ourselves as more than just an atheist or theist, because understanding each other as people and not just points of view makes for better discussions.
And while many who frequent this blog are members of USU SHAFT and are friends, other visitors have never been to a club meeting and may not even attend Utah State. This is yet another reason why introductions are in order.
Surviving the holiday season
The Christmas season can be an unpleasant one for atheists. And it’s not (just) because we’re on Santa’s naughty list or that a stocking brimful with coal awaits us. Christmas, with all its secular excesses, is still observed as a religious occasion by many people. Our atheism, then, becomes more conspicuous and less tolerated. The reason for the season is used as a reason to give atheists grief.
Every night on Fox news, O’ Reilly and ilk bemoan the supposed “War on Christmas.” They claim that Christmas is under threat from secularists, atheists, and our politically-correct sympathizers. A video montage few your viewing pleasure:
The American Humanist Association recently launched a Christmas campaign, with billboards and bus ads that read, “”Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake” and “No God? No problem!” Rather innocuous stuff, really. Hardly befitting of a “War on Christmas.” Yet predictably, Bill O’ Reilly feigned righteous indignation over the ads, and retorted in an article last week that atheists are just jealous they don’t have their own Christmas. He wrote, in part:
[A]theists are jealous of the Yuletide season. While Christians have Jesus and Jews have the prophets, nonbelievers have Bill Maher. There are no Christmas carols for atheists, no pagan displays of largesse like Santa Claus. In fact, for the nonbeliever, Christmas is just a day off, a time to consider that Mardi Gras is fewer than two months away.
…Christmas is a joyous time for children, the big upside of celebrating the birth of Jesus. Why, then, do people who want to “be good” spend money denigrating a beautiful day? Could it be that the humanists are not really interested in good at all?
That atheists are harassed during the holidays by Fox News is not surprising. What concerns most young atheists is how their families will receive them. Many of my friends already have strained relations with their family over religious disagreements, and these disagreements are magnified at Christmas time. If things go well, there may just be an unspoken tension at the dinner table. If things go poorly, you may find yourself in this kid’s sorry situation…
I’ve had the “If you don’t believe in Jesus, why should we give you presents?” card pulled on me before. I’m sure many of you have as well. But luckily, things with my family aren’t that bad. In fact, I usually get along famously with my parents. There is one negative Christmas episode I’d like to share, however.
Last Christmas Eve, I downloaded a torrent of Bill Maher’s “Religulous.” I had been waiting for a copy for months, and it just so happened to be released online a few days before Christmas. When my mom found out what I was download (via my little brother), she was irate. She didn’t appreciate that I was planning to watch an “anti-religion” film the night before her most cherished holiday. I honestly didn’t think much of that fact that it was Christmas Eve, but my mom took my downloading “Religulous” as a sign that I don’t respect her faith. She then went off on this emotional tirade in which she told me that she hated having me home, because I as a bisexual atheist constantly remind her of how she failed as a parent. You can imagine how shitty Christmas morning was for me that year.
My mom and I often say things we regret, so I don’t hold that statement against her. She has also since apologized for it. But thinking about the incident makes me want to spare others a similar experience. Nobody wants to dread what should be a joyous time with friends and family.
So I want to this post to serve as a forum in which we share both our positive and negative Christmas stories as atheists in the hopes that we can learn from each others’ experiences. If your parents make your atheism an issue, how should you respond? Should we wait for our parents to make it an issue, or should we initiate a religious discussion ourselves? And for those who have yet to come out of the proverbial closet as atheists to their family, is the holiday season an appropriate time to do so?
Your thoughts are appreciated.
A Happy Ending
As I sat at my computer this evening, eating an otter pop, I heard a knock at the door. James rushed in the room, wide-eyed and nervous. “I think it’s your bishop,” he hissed. I jumped up and ran to the door. I paused half way across the room and did a mental check. Am I wearing pants and a bra? Yep. Okay, I’m good. I pulled Mack away from the door and as I stepped out on the porch, I did a double take. There I stood, face-to-face with my high school Algebra teacher.
“Hi, I’m your bishop,” he began, and then broke off, studying my face. “Weren’t you in my high school math class?” I could only nod dumbly. This was really surreal, and I knew this situation had the potential to get very awkward very fast. luckily for me, he continued on before the silence became too uncomfortable.
“I got your letter,” he said, “and I wanted to let you know, we’ve respected your wishes and sent a conformation back to Salt Lake. I You are welcome back to any of the meetings, or at block parties, or anything like that. We’d love for you to be involved. If you ever need anything, my phone number’s is at the bottom,” He handed me a folded paper as he said this. “It’s a copy of the letter I sent to Salt Lake. Once again, I want to respect your wishes.”
“Thanks,” I managed, a little chocked up by his kindness, “I really appreciate that.” And I do. His respect for me made this whole experience a positive one, rather than the nightmare I expected it to be. I now have a deep respect for this man, and I may take him up on his offer to join in at a block party. If all the ward members are as open as their bishop, I think we’ll get along just fine. 