The other day, I stumbled upon this video about a young woman who was kicked out of the Westboro Baptist Church and her family for asking too many questions. Very heartbreaking. (The WBC is probably familiar to most of you. Its members protest soldiers’ funerals and preach that “God hates fags” and, well, everyone else who doesn’t belong to their church.)
After seeing videos like this, it’s easy to hate the Westboro Baptists. The easiest thing, though, is rarely the most moral.
Previously, I wrote that “sometimes levity is the best response to hate.” But usually—and here the bleeding heart on my sleeve will be obvious—love is the better response. As a humanist, I feel compelled to hate the hate, but love the haters. Because behind the Westboro Baptists’ inflammatory signs are human beings with many of the same frailties and desires that we all have.
One of my favorite films is a BBC documentary about the WBC appropriately titled “The Most Hated Family in America.” In it, documentarian Louis Theroux gets to know the Phelps (the family at the core of the WBC). The film, to my surprise, was a rather humanizing portrait of the family. If you have an hour to spare, it’s a must-see.
Hate the hate, love the haters. I like that.
As a gay man who grew up LDS I can see a lot of myself in Lauren. Granted, her story is extreme but young religious organizations patrol their membership vigilantly. She was seen as a bad apple. This kind of attitude (not that of open hatred but unquestioning obedience) can be seen every time someone is called to serve nearly any position in the church from sunday school teacher to prophet. When asked to sustain someone in their calling I have never ever seen someone raise their hand when the pulpit asks “and those opposed.”
Actually that’s not true. A boy, about three, was late in raising his hand and his mom scolded him. Anyone who knows politics knows unanimous support is nearly impossible to come by. It’s only possible thanks to brain washing.
I might not have been forbidden from my childhood house but I certainly always felt uncomfortable there. Nearly everything in the house, from what they hang on the wall or the refrigerator is church related. Gives me the creeps every time I walk into the room and count the number of Mormon paraphernalia in the house.
New religious movements must foster a strong persecution complex and a black/white world view or risk watching their numbers dwindle to nothing.
Every time I see the publicity the church-who-will-not-be-named gets it makes me sick. They thrive on it. They make oodles of money on law suits when people they’ve provoked become violent.
I feel the parallels too. My family situation has been rough since I left the church, but at least they’ve worked almost constantly to make sure I know I’m still loved. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but the parallels I see deal with brainwashing and, as you said Matthew, unanimous and unquestioning support. When Monson became the new president of the LDS church, I was on my way out and all I could do was sit, even though part of me wanted to raise my hand when asked if anyone opposed.
Westboro annoys and aggrevates me nearly every time they get any publicity and I hate their message more than almost any other. At the same time, the thing I feel most for them is pity. I’m sad to see individual thought so strongly discouraged and to know that too many of those people will spend their entire lives with their minds trapped in an tiny and ugly little box. I pity the children more than anyone because if there was ever a case for religion as a form of child abuse, it’s these guys.
Sadly, this mirrors my experience as well. It’s a difference in degree, but not of kind. While I’ve not been kicked out of my family, and they’ve somewhat come to terms with my irreligiosity, I’m forbidden from ever bringing a boyfriend/partner home, or talking to my siblings about being gay.
I agree with Courtney, those children are being abused. I see it too in my siblings though the way they’re being brainwashed to reject reality and reject anything that disagrees with their rigid dogma. And it makes me really sad.
Interesting theory about Fred Phelps I read a few days ago:
http://kanewj.com/wbc/
It’s interesting, but I don’t agree. Religion does certainly have the power to turn otherwise rational people into raving hate-filled bigots. I completely believe that the Phelps family completely believes everything they say.
This makes me sick to my stomach. I agree with your “hate the hate, love the haters”. However, I think it is best to save most of the love for the lovers. It gets exhausting pouring out love for haters, who never return the guesture. Maybe loving the lovers will prevent future haters. =)
*gesture*
Is a return gesture a condition for the possibility of a gift (love)? If a gift is given (if you love) only if you get the return, did you really give? Or have you just engaged in a circular exchange? I say love is nowhere more obvious and more free than where it is given with absolutely no expectation of return.
Very good point. Love can be perceived as a gift, but it can also be perceived as a need or desire. From what I have experienced in my 19 years, everyone wants/needs to be loved. So, in some cases, I do think the gesture needs to be returned.
The girl in this video still loves her family and, as it seems, always will. I percieved her family to show only hate. Whether they still love her or not, they do not show it. Imagine how much pain this girl experiences when she does not receive the love back. At what point should one (if they should) stop loving the hater? Also, is it possible to stop loving the hater when it is someone like a parent? I don’t think it is, although it might be helpful to that person’s well-being.
Also, I am not speaking in black and white terms. Just because a person does not love another, it does not mean they hate. There is some definite grey area.
Shame on you. Shame on you for thinking that these people deserve any pity at all. You do understand that they invade the funerals of solders who died serving our country, attack their families, and even throw rocks at the mourners? Yes there is some value to loving the sinner but these people are the instruments of satan. They are the most wretched, worthless beings on the planet. If I read the Bible correctly, Jesus loved ALL sinners and actually prevented people from throwing rocks at them. These monsters are doing the exact opposite. My grandfather was buried yesterday and veterans had to come and KEEP GUARD over the ceremony so these demons couldn’t come and assault us. Anyone who has compassion for them is supporting them. How would you like it if the next time your child died, someone came and screamed that they were burning in hell and threw rocks at you? Think about things before you spew your stupidity on the internet. There is no humanity in anything that that vile group of people does.
They thrive on the hate they receive. It’s our hatred of the group that I think fuels their protests and our media coverage of them.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. Please don’t mistake what I wrote here as my condoning the WBC’s actions in the slightest. What they do is repugnant.
I think Westboro is horrible, they are just trying to get everyone against God! If it wasn’t for God then we wouldn’t be here at all, he sacrificed his life for us. Not many people can do that, actually no one can, but him. Westboro is going to hell not the ones that believes in God. Everyone that goes to that church blongs in hell.
—Louis doing retreads? —-at a time like this?
Of course Westboro should be kept well back from funerals,
but beyond that, in a free republic, what more can we say?
Meanwhile Theroux, son of high profile establishment types,
has spent his entire career promoting the agenda of the
state run propaganda arm BBC.
If Theroux really wants to get beyond his one note Harry Potter
pose, he’ll break ranks, leave the Beeb and turn those cameras
on the belief system of his own ‘hidden masters’ —–EUGENICS.
IN FACT, what’s even more disturbing about Westboro is that
they themselves, to our knowledge, have NEVER confronted this
over-awing issue.